I dont wanna get hurt

In everything I see you appear with me, how come? How come?
And everything I do involves you too. We are like one.
In my life there has been so many changes
and I don't want to be left out in the rain

I don't want to get hurt, I've done my time.
All I want from you is to tell the truth.
I don't want to get hurt no more this time.
I don't want to go blind and find it's falling apart all the time

In the middle of a dream you are there for me, your face, your lips.
But there's no way you can tell cos I hide it really well, so well.
In my life there has been loving and lying
and I don't need another reason to cry

I don't want to get hurt...
I don't want to go blind and find I'm falling apart one more time.

Travel Dream

I should be figuring some important life decision now...but instead, my mind got side-tracked and went to a fantasy world.

It has always been my dream to be able to travel around the world and I am still pursuing even though I am having financial crisis, a post effect from my down under adventure.

Base on the mostly saying, generally there are 7 continents which made up the world we have today. They are Asia, Australasia, Africa, Europe, South America, North America & Middle East.

Out of the 7 continents, I have only been to three which made up to 42.8%. Not even reaching the passing score leh....so I need to fly more!

There was this silly thought I have in my mind - let me travel to each of the continent...then I can RIP liao...haha

Let GO

I know very well that I will be a much happier person if I can acquire the skill of 'letting go' to the next level.

Saying it is easy...but doing it is TOUGH!
From time to time, I am injecting 'let go' into my mind...and I would say that the resistance is rather strong still...

Good try....and keep trying....I think I'll be there soon....

Sweet-Bitter-Pain

First it was sweet & happy...
Following was bitter...and it gets more bitter...
Lastly...it was a heart aching pain...
It has been really PAINFUL & BITTER...
I am praying that the outcome will be sweet...

1 day after 100th

On my 101th day, i earned my first $50 aussie dollar - the results from 5 hours of hard labour.
I'm not sure whether they will contact me again for future work, but i believe i have done my best i can...
Tired...i think i almost got a broken wrist :P

100 days mark

Today marked my 1ooth day down under. Yes, it's equivalent to 3 months 8 days.
And it's still counting...

Tried harder...finally

This week, i have tried harder finally....took me a lot of courage but i'm glad i did it...
But...luck is still not with me this round...

What is today's color?

My mood swings a lot recently...

On a blue day - i woke up feeling very depress and almost bought an air ticket back to Malaysia.
On a green day - i woke up feeling positive and hopeful that i will get a job before my deadline and i can see my future in oz land. I am convinced!
On a red day - i woke up not wanting to do anything. Feeling sick of browsing jobs and applying them.
On another purple day - i wouldn't even want to get up from my bed.
And yet on another dunno what color of the day - i feel extremely worried...worried of current day, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
I have been warned by a friend of mine...watch out the mood swings....its a depression symptom. Am I having depression? Happy go lucky person like me can get depression? I guess not...just moody perhaps....I still get excited when i think of traveling around the world.

Last night, I dreamt that i've killed someone, dunno who and not sure what was the killing motif. I could only recall I was panic, whether to confess my sin or think of ways to hide it. I was in extreme regrets! Before i can think further or decide anything....i dreamt that it was a dream. Dreaming in a dream!

Silence

I've been quiet recently...not Facebook-ing, not MSN-ing, not Skype-ing and some of my close friends have been asking or wondering whether i am still alive down here....

Well, i guess i am in depression mode a little...just feel like isolating myself, i am not even going out..just stay home staring my monitor, watching tv series and of coz -continue to apply for jobs...

Life has been the same and i've been adapting well to boredom. My pride is still there and i have yet to do walk in for jobs. Despite the depressing job hunting, the other side of my mind cant stop thinking of holiday plans! I am more convinced that i am a person who live to travel!

I have asked my cousin to come and visit me soonest possible - 1) before the weather gets warm and 2) before i u-turn (if fate is going to bring me to that). When comes to travel, i think i have bit of luck and she is going to come sometime Nov! Thank God! I finally have something to look forward to! Hope she can get the dates confirmed very soon so i can start some planning!

Though i have set a date to u-turn, but i still hope i can get a job and stay on here...i think i would want to be here...

Deadline set!

It's been decided and I've set the 'U-turn' period to Dec10/Jan11...
I will still continue to what I'm doing daily and try by best...
Will now leave it to fate to decide where I belong to...

God's way or Fruit's way? Will these 2 lead to the same destiny??