What is today's color?

My mood swings a lot recently...

On a blue day - i woke up feeling very depress and almost bought an air ticket back to Malaysia.
On a green day - i woke up feeling positive and hopeful that i will get a job before my deadline and i can see my future in oz land. I am convinced!
On a red day - i woke up not wanting to do anything. Feeling sick of browsing jobs and applying them.
On another purple day - i wouldn't even want to get up from my bed.
And yet on another dunno what color of the day - i feel extremely worried...worried of current day, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
I have been warned by a friend of mine...watch out the mood swings....its a depression symptom. Am I having depression? Happy go lucky person like me can get depression? I guess not...just moody perhaps....I still get excited when i think of traveling around the world.

Last night, I dreamt that i've killed someone, dunno who and not sure what was the killing motif. I could only recall I was panic, whether to confess my sin or think of ways to hide it. I was in extreme regrets! Before i can think further or decide anything....i dreamt that it was a dream. Dreaming in a dream!

Silence

I've been quiet recently...not Facebook-ing, not MSN-ing, not Skype-ing and some of my close friends have been asking or wondering whether i am still alive down here....

Well, i guess i am in depression mode a little...just feel like isolating myself, i am not even going out..just stay home staring my monitor, watching tv series and of coz -continue to apply for jobs...

Life has been the same and i've been adapting well to boredom. My pride is still there and i have yet to do walk in for jobs. Despite the depressing job hunting, the other side of my mind cant stop thinking of holiday plans! I am more convinced that i am a person who live to travel!

I have asked my cousin to come and visit me soonest possible - 1) before the weather gets warm and 2) before i u-turn (if fate is going to bring me to that). When comes to travel, i think i have bit of luck and she is going to come sometime Nov! Thank God! I finally have something to look forward to! Hope she can get the dates confirmed very soon so i can start some planning!

Though i have set a date to u-turn, but i still hope i can get a job and stay on here...i think i would want to be here...

Deadline set!

It's been decided and I've set the 'U-turn' period to Dec10/Jan11...
I will still continue to what I'm doing daily and try by best...
Will now leave it to fate to decide where I belong to...

God's way or Fruit's way? Will these 2 lead to the same destiny??

Hong Kong

I've been Hong Kong twice but today, I have this extremely strong urge to go Hong Kong.
For unknown reason, I am looking forward for a fish eye view of skyscrapers...bustling busy city life...
And also for obvious reason, I miss the hawker & street food of Hong Kong! And also seafood!
There are many more rural places of Hong Kong which I have yet to visit...
I want to go.....when? Who wanna go with me?.....sob....

Just couldn't let go...

I came to realize today that I'm a person who is such difficult to let go my own pride..
Seriously I tried...but I failed...
I just can't today~~

2 months

Ok, it's my 2 months 'anniversary' down under.
I am still jobless and I have been told to consider studying here.
MBA perhaps? But it's going to cost a lot...coz I havent got my PR-ship.
If money not the issue, then my biggest concern will be whether I am able to hit the books once more...
Doing MBA may or may not help in pursuing PR coz I am still required to work min. 12 months full time for my PR...

I've been asked - What is your goal? What you want out of your life?
Short term goal - I want to make money! Lotsa money coz i am so broke now...
Long term? I am not sure now....whether down under is the place I want to be. I am very sure I am less happy here now but I've also been constantly reminded that this is just transition and the days ahead going to be so much better! Is it? I am not 100% convinced though...

Think Fruit...THINK!